To Dream Anything You Want to Dream

It's not why are my dreams so messed up when I go to sleep, but rather why is my reality so normal when I wake up?

It is the start of summer and the beginning to something new. Though finals and the end of the semester has been on my mind for a while now... I've also met someone who has an exceptional reaction with me. Everything just works... I compare it to a combustion engine, but that seems so far from the beauty this dynamic possesses.

Perhaps "Acrobatic Flow" is better... the term comes from a Prince of Persia demo. Here, watch this combo movie it does accurately depict the feeling:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIzByIopln8
(The music is epic, no?)

More on that later... Work starts soon. It is now the start of the summer and I get to continue my weekly posting!

Today is Mac 101 training (Support Essentials!). While I won't get certification for it... I will be taking a crash course in everything (I probably already know) about Mac OS X ver. 10.5 Support.

For $150 dollars more, I could be certified... but we shall see. :)

I'll end with a funny saying my friend told me yesterday: "Here lies an atheist, all dressed up with nowhere to go."

More later!

Low Start

7:20 and I am down.

Some people say it's chemical... waking up and having all the bad or sad things hit you in the morning. It makes the rest of the day look like an uphill climb that is almost daunting...

Or you fall, and just let the day get worse till you can get back to sleep.

The energy and effort to work out of it just seems so... much. As I sit here thinking about the good things in my life, an exercise I started to help counter these low moods, I can't help but wonder why these low times exist.

I've heard it said before that we are the most depressed country in the world... and with our freedoms, benefits, rights, and products... you'd think that should not be possible. But...

There is no struggle. We have lost our appreciation for freedom, food, life... With no one controlling us, tossing grenades, and shooting civilians in the streets... what value does anything have? Naturally, humans want chaos. The fear, the terror, the fighting... So this hole is made... this depression in our lives where that darkness fills and makes us complete.

I think we want the bad, because it always makes the good stand out so much more. The future always seems to look a little darker, but for many we can look back at our past and remember much better times. Those that can't... probably never had anything terrible happen. It's not that they didn't have anything good in their lives... they just never had anything bad to gauge it against.

I wonder if that is why I feel for her so much... because despite all the bad... the fights and the coldness... I actually valued each laugh, kiss, and touch far more. It would certainly match my current perception of humans... of myself.

I think that is why feminazis rant and rave about male oppression and abuse, but take the liberty to spout verbal abuse and generalize. Even in a society, American Society, where men are raised to be "better" than the rest of the males world when it comes to treating women properly.

Why people still reference slavery in America, but don't bother to think about slavery elsewhere... young girls stolen for prostitution into South America or women forced to submit elsewhere in the world. This need to keep it alive in the areas around us... yet ignore it when it's far away.

Some people state that they can't do anything about that here... but then why go on to parade around in an area where it isn't needed as much. Is it to encourage activity in foreign areas, or just remind people that they were bad, are bad, will be bad. Ha... It's like the church: "we are by nature sinful and unclean and have sinned against them by our thoughts, words and deeds."

But I digress... ultimately I think people LIKE the problems... the darkness. Look at Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, and now The Watchmen... it's a sign of our desires.

It is our choices that make us who we are.
It is the dark times, the troubled times, that force us to make choices.
So without the darkness, what choices do we have?

Without the darkness... who are we?



Give them Pain. Give them Terror. Give them Death... and they will Dance, Love, and Live.

Each new generation strives to find peace and happiness, but in the end there can be no peace without a war. Our depression is nothing more than a lack of our own great struggle. We have no external enemy, so we turn against ourselves. Both literally and figuratively.

Thanks, I feel much better now.

So Again I Am

So, something huge happened last week, but I just can not talk about it here. Sometimes it is almost like gossip, or hanging out dirty laundry... and ultimately I just see this more as a... way to analyze my own thoughts more than actually communicate with people.

In all honesty, i'm not actually sure how many people read this... but that is why it is done for myself :)

No post last week, I kept waiting, hoping that something else would pop up and that I felt I COULD actually write about.

Well nothing came up.

Spent this weekend down in Denver with my second family and the girl I find unbelievably amazing.

But nothing on that front. Still standing on that cliff, tomorrow I'll make a push. I had a good time eating dinner, talking, playing card games, and just enjoying time spent around other people.

At the moment I am just catching up on homework, thinking about the weekend and this upcoming week.

Not much else to really talk about, I thought about the superbowl, but didn't find it pulling me that much.

Well that is life up to now, another update later this week when something momentous happens.