Monday, January 19, 2009

My Mirror, My Sword, and My Shield

Where to go from here?

I kneeled in front of the mirror... knowing where my heart wanted to be, but trying to understand where I had to go next. It's a scary thing...

I'm holding myself at the edge of a cliff.
The winds are rushing around me,
I'm doing my best not to fall forward,
and yet I'm determined to not walk away.

Waiting for those hands to reach out and grab mine...

I look away whenever I hear that thought that it might never happen...
Not like I don't want to face the truth... but that I am going to hold out as long as possible...
I won't give up. My heart won't let me...

But I won't just wait...
I won't waste my life...

I found myself putting Viva La Vida on repeat... It is second to Leave Out All The Rest.

I want my life to be worthy of the reason I am here.
I want to paint this beautiful picture.... write this wondrous story...

If it is the choice of God that I am here, then I want show him something wonderful.
If it is a random sequence of events, then I will take advantage of this opportunity.

I want to make this beautiful...

I'm looking around me, standing on this cliff, and wondering what is next.
I almost feel stuck, so how do I move forward? What is next for a good life?

Debt free? Home? Degree? - These things don't make a good life, just a smart life. They are tools and positions which give you more options.

Many will rarely take advantage of these options to create a good life. One doesn't even need these things to make a good life. I guess one of these things will have to be the next choice for now... consolidate, regroup, build up... It won't hurt, but I do wish the next step would appear before me. Life feels like it is getting shorter... oddly enough...

So... now I think... what is next?

While I wait on this cliff... and I consolidate my position...

Where is that next step!?